Stef & Chad
by misk
Summary: Its my first story, well not really its my second, but this is my first story that I've typed up. be nice.


Chadricha could not help herself. She was aware that stefen was _shaych_, indeed that thought punished and tormented her every waking moment. But she could not help herself. Stefen, the wonderful, wise, beautiful Stefen could never love her in return. Chad absently plucked at the strings of her gittern, and gazed miserably out into the gardens below. Chad was a Bard in training, and a very good one. Her rare gift of playing pain away was second only to Stefs own. The two had grown close over the years, but not as close as chad desired. Chad sighed once more before she forced herself to snap from the indulgence in self pity.__

_You are to play for Stef tonight,_ she reminded herself sternly._ How would it feel to falter before him?_

For all that stef was beyond twice her age- sixty to her twenty five years- she loved him passionately and desperately, and would as soon quit on her robes as be embarrassed before Stef.

Stefen sipped his blackberry brandy, held it to the candlelight and watched the rippled glow it created to wander across his hands.

_They're old and grey and withered. Just like the rest of me. _Stef chuckled, a sad, sorry sound that held no mirth at all._ Van always thought I was to young so wished I was older. Then I tried to fix it so id never grow old, Van  talked me out of it, promising we'd be together forever if I instilled a trust for heralds in the people of Valdemar. Stupid churl. _Why or who Stef was calling a stupid churl eluded him at that moment. He'd already had several glasses of brandy. Perhaps that explained it.  _And now I sit here wishing id get even older so I can hurry up and die._

Stefen allowed his thoughts to rove over the times he and Vanyel had shared, and yearned for the time they would share again.

Stef was jolted to the present by a timid knock on the door and felt his breath catch as little Chad entered his chambers. She reminded him of Van as once Tashir reminded Vanyel of Tylendel, despite being female. Her blue black hair was not threaded with silver as Vanyels had been nor was her brow wrinkled with the worry that had plagued Van's final days. Yet her pale skin stretched across a finely boned face that put him in such a mind of Vanyel, that combined with the alcohol dizzying him and his present thoughts, Stef dropped his glass.

"I'm sorry Stefen, I didn't mean to startle you, I…"

"No harm done Chad. I simply wasn't expecting any one…Why are you here?" Stef was to deep sunk in depression to be tactful.

A small hurt flickered across her eyes, and Stefs heart lurched.

"You invited me, to help ease your joints"

"Oh. Oh yes, yes of course. Come sit by the fire with me, and we'll summon some food and wine. PAGE!"

Stef and Chad proceeded to chatter of inconsequential things, and the talk spilled over into dinner, Chad exceedingly pleased at spending this much time with her beloved. And Stef wondered why he continued to torture himself by being in her presence. She even carried herself like Van, moved liked Van… And she was very taken with him, this Stef knew. As the night wore Stef drunk himself into a stupor, such as even he had never done before.

Finished with her third song of the evening, Stef halted her and said in slurred speech and with much wild gestures, "You know, you are absolutely beautiful."  Chad blushed.

While she not as utterly intoxicated as Stefen, she was a far cry from in full control of herself. _I do not care if he is _shaych _nor do I care it is the wine that is making this seem a good idea. Im going to kiss him. He called me beautiful, and so I shall kiss him._ Her logic was somewhat disputable. _Hopefully in various places._

Having admitted chads beauty, Stef decided he needed more wine. _Damn. 's all gone._ Even his thoughts were slurred. Stef lurched from his rickety chair, muttering about the size of the large chamber he had once craved for. And why wouldn't the floor stay still?

As he wobbled to the cabinet, firm hands steadied him. Stef looked up, then seeing his bed, looked down. In his befuddled state, the small differences between Chadricha and Vanyel vanished, and Stef was gazing at his love. Chad leaned forward and kissed him ardently. Stef clutched the warm body to him tasting the wine and brandy they'd shared on her lips.

"I love you, Stef." Chad whispered softly.

Stef instinctively reached for the place Van had been, the cold and desolate wasteland that once was a source of love and joy. The old pain gripped him, stopping him from doing something despicable, something he could have despised himself for. Instead Stefen toppled over, smashing his head so hard on the stone floor he was shunted into unconsciousness.


End file.
